From the moment my doctor said the words “I’m sorry to have to tell you that you have cancer” there was never, nor will there ever be a doubt in my mind that this was something I would over come. Of course the picture in my mind of what that might look like has continually shifted the more I learn about what my treatment journey will include, but never the less I will come out the other side (just with a little less hair).

Being me, the first thing I did once Curtis and I hung up the phone with my doctor was run up the stairs and dig out our Critical Illness (CI) Insurance Policy paperwork to make sure we had all the information we would need to start a claim. Thanks to the fact that I work in the financial planning industry, Curtis and I jumped on the chance to get $50,000 of CI each when an offer came through the mail from SISIP incase either one of us ever got sick, something we never imagined we would use. Our insurance was put in place in October 2019 and less than 2 years later I am expecting to receive the full $50,000 pay out. Of course I would rather not have Cancer than the $50,000 but this is at least a silver lining.

Warning: Tangent ahead! To our friends in the armed forces: the cost of CI for both Curtis and I us less than $200 a year and is provided through SISIP. My advice to you and anyone you know in the armed forces – GET IT! You won’t find cheaper CI anywhere else and you don’t have to go through a medical screening process like you normally would. It costs less per month than a Netflix subscription. To our friends who aren’t in the armed forces: if you don’t have CI or DI (disability insurance) for yourself or your spouse, please contact me and I will put you in touch with the best people to help you explore what options best fit your situation.

The second thing I did was pull out all the information I had saved from my breast implant surgery in January 2017. I had previously investigated and made sure that the implants I have weren’t textured, which have been banned in several countries including Canada and Australia, because of the increased risk of anaplastic large cell lymphoma, also called BIA-ALCL. Even though I knew mine weren’t textured I just HAD to check again to put my mind at ease.

The next thing I did was ask of Curtis the same thing I have been asking of everyone: please don’t treat me like I’m sick. Please don’t coddle me or treat me with kid gloves or like I am made of glass. I am still me. I will continue to be me through this whole thing, but to do that I need the people around me not to treat me like I am sick. I really believe that the moment you start believing you’re “sick” is when you start acting sick and your body will respond accordingly. I truly believe I am not “sick”. I have cancer. I have been presented a challenge and I will overcome it as I have all the other challenges I have been presented in life and carry on.

After I had my mindset in place (and the paperwork obviously, cause again, it’s me), I needed to make an action plan for things that I could control. The first thing that came to mind when I thought the words “beating cancer” was the memory of my brother-in-law Brian, standing at his mother-in-law’s kitchen counter, juicing the biggest mound of kale, carrots, celery, you name it, I have ever seen! Seriously, it looked like he cleared the shelves of a farmers market. When I think of beating the odds and kicking cancer’s a$$, I think of Brian. He had been given a diagnosis of Stage 4 Metastatic Melanoma, which was a good as a death sentence. They actually told him “let us know when you need palliative care”. That was nearly 7 years ago and he is now living cancer free!

So that was my plan: be like Brian! I was going to give my body as much help as I could to fight this thing, just like he did! I was already planning on cutting out diary for a few months (we have a long standing love/hate relationship) but now I would be cutting out added sugar, alcohol and processed foods. I would start having fresh made juices or smoothies every morning and focus on eating only good clean food. But not right away… Because there was something I needed to do first… EAT EVERYTHING!

As I was diagnosed on December 27th, I had just under 1 week before the New Year. Therefore I gave myself 1 week to eat anything and everything I loved but couldn’t have come January 2nd (not January 1st, cause I was going to need hangover food, obviously!). I must say, I think I did pretty good! That week I had McDonalds (10 chicken nuggets, large fries and 2 cheeseburgers, I’m weirdly proud), sooo much pizza, Annie’s macaroni and cheese, Tim Hortons breakfast sandwiches with Timbits for dessert… the list goes on. One day Curtis and I went to this amazing cheese shop in Sidney and spent over $50 on our favorite cheeses and all we had for dinner that night was wine, cheese and bread, so amazing. And every night I had a candle lit bath with a glass of red wine. Needless to say I was pretty much tipsy or hung over that entire week.

The really amazing thing was that after January 2nd, I haven’t had a craving for a glass of wine, which I expected would be one of the hardest things to give up. It’s like my brain and my body know there was something more important than that tasty glass of fermented, grapey deliciousness.

It’s been 3 weeks now and so far I feel I have done really well with my new clean eating habits. Of course there are always times when you slip up, like I had a bit of cream in my coffee at a restaurant the other day, but overall I’ve been sticking to my plan, which feels so great. With so many things out of my control, choosing what I eat to give my body a fighting chance feels really empowering.

In addition to eating right I have been trying to be as active as possible, getting to the gym a few times a week and taking Lola for hikes. Getting out of the house and out of “cancer brain” has been helping to keep me sane. Sleep has also been a huge challenge for the last few weeks. I have found however that if I use a bit of CBD oil to calm my body and some meditation to help calm my mind right before bed, I can sleep like a baby! I’m very new to mediation, it was something I was a bit skeptical about (especially having ADHD, sitting still is hard!) but so far its been great!

I wouldn’t be able to do all of this if I was still working full time. After learning the extent of my diagnosis, my amazing boss and friend, Jess Patterson, removed everything from my plate at work and told me I didn’t have to work if I wasn’t up to it, despite continuing to pay me my salary. Thanks to his amazing support and generosity I am able to focus on my health and fighting this fight without feeling overwhelmed or worrying about how we are going to pay the bills every month.

So essentially, that is how I am battling cancer at home for now. I should also say that I have complete, 100% faith and trust in my doctors and medical team. They are going to get me to the other side of this thing and there is no way I could survive this without them. In my opinion there is no substitute for proper medical treatment when it comes to cancer, and I’m sure that science would agree with me.

But I might as well give the medicine a hand, right? At least the smoothies are tasty 😉

❤ B